Month: July 2022

The extrovert who likes to be alone.

Every time. Every single time.

At some stage during an event with networking or space for people to connect, most people taking part are talking in groups. And I find myself standing on my own overlooking the room.

And finding joy in that aloneness.

Knowing I have probably started half those conversations or facilitated the space energetically or given support to the organiser.

Connecting people with themselves and with others is something I really love doing. And then step back. And let them discover and explore the potential strength of those connections.

And then I make a cup of tea or grab a glass of water. And silently sit back and let the connections happen.

I always knew I was an extrovert. I also have developed interpersonal skills that allow me to see, hear and feel which people will click. Moving these people past their fears of rejection and getting them to reach out to each other is easier for extroverts so that is the role I give myself at the event.

I recently discovered I really value aloneness. This is vastly different from loneliness. Aloneness is being very comfortable just being with yourself. Being in your own company as such. I could spend days without talking to anyone except for surface-level conversations.

At events the combination of these traits means I take time to observe all around me. With the intention of detecting any possible opportunity to foster connections for people within themselves or with others.

All the above is a result of doing some strengths-based work. I hold the science-backed belief that knowing your strengths and using them as the guidelines for everything you do leads to achieving in a resilient, adaptable, imaginative, sustainable, and effective way.

My top strengths are Perspective, Social Intelligence, Energy, Creativity, and Love of Learning.

Can you see how these strengths help me in the scenario above, connecting people?

What about your strengths? Want to discover what they are? And how to achieve naturally using these unique strengths?

Email patrick@theintentionalacademy.ie or WhatsApp 00353 83 3008963

A cup of tea and a tuna sweetcorn sandwich.

I don’t have a driver’s license. Never had one.

I could list all the reasons, excuses, and justifications I use when challenged about this.

I could also share some of the hundreds of stories I have listened to while traveling on public transport here in Ireland. Stories of hope, despair, loneliness, pride, joy, depression, and love.

Today, I’ll share this one story. I travel from Dublin to Limerick and back on Irish Rail on a weekly basis. Upon arriving at Colbert Station in Limerick I go on a short 5-minute walk to the hotel I stay in for 2 nights every week.

On that short walking route, I regularly come across people sitting on cardboard begging for change. I must admit that this occurrence is so frequent (not just in Limerick by the way) that I often simply walk past them.

Every so often though my eye, soul, or intuition catches a glimpse of something different that makes me stop in my tracks. That one, rainy afternoon, the city was relatively empty. It seemed all the city folk were taking cover indoors.

This one young person sat on a soaked piece of cardboard that carried a logo of a well-known fizzy drinks company. There was an immediate spark of recognition in me. My gut told me I have met this person before.

I stopped. Asked if he was OK. ‘Do you have some change for a cup of tea?’. Like so many now I had no cash on me, only cards. I offered to go to a nearby shop and get him a cup and some food if he wanted to. I still felt I knew him but couldn’t place him.

I returned with a cup of tea and a sandwich and sat on my hunkers beside him. He started speaking as if he had to explain and justify his situation. What followed was a story of deep trauma, followed by a stop-start recovery, addiction issues, finding and losing jobs, and accommodation.

I let him speak uninterrupted. He stopped regularly to drink from the cup of hot tea and take a bite from the tuna and sweetcorn sandwich. When he was finished, I asked him if he wanted dessert. He declined. I didn’t insist. I asked was there anything else I could do for him. Once again, he declined. Then he thanked me about 10 times. Not just for the food and drink. But for listening. ‘You’re the first person who let me talk and didn’t tell me what to do.’

I still feel I met him before. I still don’t know where from. Nor do I know who he is. And I haven’t seen him since.

There are 2 reasons I share this story.

One is that I feel privileged that coaching has taught me listening skills. There was no need for me to talk or offer advice. Just being there, listening, and taking some small action was enough right at that moment.

Which people in your life can you think of right now that could benefit from you being present, listening, and taking some small actions.

Two is the realisation that the reason I think I recognised that person is that this could have so easily have been me sitting there, on a wet afternoon, on a piece of cardboard, begging for change.

I had traumas in my life I couldn’t cope with at the time. I had flirtations with addiction, escapism, and depression. I also had a few people that cared enough to listen and encourage me. And enough resilience to overcome with the help of those others.

This is yet another reason why I became a professional coach. I understand the powers of listening, reframing, and encouraging actions. Regardless of where you are in life or what you do.

It is the WHY behind everything I do. Helping people, regardless of their position, to R.A.I.S.E. their profile. That is to become Resilient, Adaptable, Imaginative, Sustainable, and Effective.

Let’s connect. I am good at listening and would love to hear your story.

patrick@theintentionalacademy.ie

WhatsApp 00 353 83 3008963

How it all started (Part three).

May 13th, 2007.

A date etched in my memory. The last few months had really passed by in a blur.

Only it wasn’t a blur. I distinctly remember the dissertation, the book reviews, the countless pro bono client sessions, the PCG groups, the new modules of learning, and the weekends studying together.

It wasn’t a blur, but it felt as if it was. I would later in life figure out this is what’s called FLOW.

Flow is an optimal psychological state that people experience when engaged in an activity that is appropriately challenging to one’s skill level, often resulting in immersion and concentrated focus on a task. This can result in deep learning and high levels of personal and work satisfaction. (Mihály Csíkszentmihályi).

Flow can be experienced in any task in any field of activity, from music to writing to painting to sports. It forms one of the key ingredients of where I get my clients to guide themselves towards. In Flow, you perform and achieve effortlessly.

So, the blur passed, and on May 13th, 2007, I got my official Diploma in Personal & Business Coaching from the Irish Lifecoach Institute (www.ili.ie). I continued pro bono coaching for a few months and then set up my practice under the name Forward 2 Success. The business story is for another day.

In the 15 years since I have added certifications as a Trainer and a Master NLP Practitioner. I have niched in 1-to-1 Life Coaching & Career coaching. I have become a public speaker. I have a weekly radio show on Limerick City Community Radio (www.lccr.ie) for over 5 years. I have run 124 Marathons. I have met 1000’s of interesting people.

I’ve had high points, low points, successes, learnings, elation, sadness, and every other emotion imaginable.

I have learned to just be me. And I have learned that to just be you is good enough for everyone. How to be you is for another Blog Post coming soon.

Now, after 15 years, the decision has been made to share a message.

You can ‘Have A Life While Making A Living’. You can do so as you ‘R.A.I.S.E.’ yourself UP.

(R.A.I.S.E. = Resilient, Adaptable, Imaginative, Sustainable, Effective).

In September, to celebrate 15 years as a coach, I will be launching 4 products and 2 services that are an amalgamation of what I have learned from my clients. The stuff that worked for them, consistently and in Flow.

I’m looking forward to meeting with 1000’s of people each year on a mission to create a space in this world where people can be truly themselves while contributing and sharing. And making a living doing so.

I also look forward to your company on the journey and here on this Blog!

You can read Part 1 of this trilogy here: https://theintentionalacademy.ie/2022/06/23/how-it-all-started-part-1/

You can read Part 2 of this trilogy here: https://theintentionalacademy.ie/2022/06/29/how-it-all-started-part-deux-of-3/

For more info: WhatsApp 083-3008963 or email patrick@theintentionalacademy.ie