Tag: lifestyle

The mermaid, the unicorn, and the silent marathoner.

When was the last time you saw a mermaid sheltering in the bay of a windswept harbour? Or a unicorn darting across a lush field of swinging daisies? Or a marathon runner who didn’t tell everyone he met he just finished a marathon, and it was epic and hard?

‘These things don’t exist Patrick’, I hear you say.

Possibly.

‘What do you mean possibly’, I hear you squeal, ‘’They DO NOT EXIST’.

And yet I have seen all three of them. For real.

The mermaid was a woman in costume at a parade in a seaside town when a strong wind blew a heavy shower of rain across the town. To protect the costume, she had to run for shelter.

The unicorn was a horse dressed up for a re-enactment of a medieval battle by a live role-playing group. After the scenes were finished, the horse was let to run in one of the fenced-off fields of the farm where the event took place.

And Yes, I do know a couple of marathoners who never share pictures or blogs about their races. All they are dressed up in is Lycra. And then normal clothes as they get in their cars and quietly drive home for dinner.

So, if I tell you that ‘just being’ is enough to live a fulfilling life, will you at least be curious enough to try and understand what it looks like when it is all dressed up for purpose?

Allow me to ask you if this sounds familiar:

I need to study hard so I can …

I should really sell more so we will be able to …

I have to put in all these hours if I want to …

Yep, I said those too. Doing in order to Be.

What if we learned how to reverse that sentence? Being leading to Doing.

‘Just Being’ is the basis, the foundation. The home from where everything emanates. The warm, cosy, feel-good, safe, comfortable place from where all adventure starts. From being comes doing.

How does that sound? A bit like the mermaid, or the unicorn, or the silent marathoner?

Having gone through the reversal I have great news for all of you curious people. It is possible and it has been put to the test.

All I had to do is discover my strengths, values, likes, and beliefs. Become aware of them. Find out which ones I really liked and use them to design a life for me that was based on ‘Just Being’ me.

No absolute goals, or targets. Yet clear intentions, based on my individual likes and strengths, and values. For every aspect of my life.

Being every day by taking actions in the direction of your crystal-clear intentions. Focused on how you can contribute to this world by simply being you.

Whether you are in a community organisation, corporate, business, public service, or household. You being you doing what is truly you.

Having A Life While Making A Living. Yes, you read that right. You can make a living while doing this. And you’ll be relatively stress-free. And have the knowledge you are being true to yourself. And go on a holiday. And spend tie with those that matter most.

Releasing your inner mermaid, unicorn, or marathoner.

To find out more contact me at patrick@theintentionalacademy.ie or WhatsApp 083-3008963

The extrovert who likes to be alone.

Every time. Every single time.

At some stage during an event with networking or space for people to connect, most people taking part are talking in groups. And I find myself standing on my own overlooking the room.

And finding joy in that aloneness.

Knowing I have probably started half those conversations or facilitated the space energetically or given support to the organiser.

Connecting people with themselves and with others is something I really love doing. And then step back. And let them discover and explore the potential strength of those connections.

And then I make a cup of tea or grab a glass of water. And silently sit back and let the connections happen.

I always knew I was an extrovert. I also have developed interpersonal skills that allow me to see, hear and feel which people will click. Moving these people past their fears of rejection and getting them to reach out to each other is easier for extroverts so that is the role I give myself at the event.

I recently discovered I really value aloneness. This is vastly different from loneliness. Aloneness is being very comfortable just being with yourself. Being in your own company as such. I could spend days without talking to anyone except for surface-level conversations.

At events the combination of these traits means I take time to observe all around me. With the intention of detecting any possible opportunity to foster connections for people within themselves or with others.

All the above is a result of doing some strengths-based work. I hold the science-backed belief that knowing your strengths and using them as the guidelines for everything you do leads to achieving in a resilient, adaptable, imaginative, sustainable, and effective way.

My top strengths are Perspective, Social Intelligence, Energy, Creativity, and Love of Learning.

Can you see how these strengths help me in the scenario above, connecting people?

What about your strengths? Want to discover what they are? And how to achieve naturally using these unique strengths?

Email patrick@theintentionalacademy.ie or WhatsApp 00353 83 3008963

A cup of tea and a tuna sweetcorn sandwich.

I don’t have a driver’s license. Never had one.

I could list all the reasons, excuses, and justifications I use when challenged about this.

I could also share some of the hundreds of stories I have listened to while traveling on public transport here in Ireland. Stories of hope, despair, loneliness, pride, joy, depression, and love.

Today, I’ll share this one story. I travel from Dublin to Limerick and back on Irish Rail on a weekly basis. Upon arriving at Colbert Station in Limerick I go on a short 5-minute walk to the hotel I stay in for 2 nights every week.

On that short walking route, I regularly come across people sitting on cardboard begging for change. I must admit that this occurrence is so frequent (not just in Limerick by the way) that I often simply walk past them.

Every so often though my eye, soul, or intuition catches a glimpse of something different that makes me stop in my tracks. That one, rainy afternoon, the city was relatively empty. It seemed all the city folk were taking cover indoors.

This one young person sat on a soaked piece of cardboard that carried a logo of a well-known fizzy drinks company. There was an immediate spark of recognition in me. My gut told me I have met this person before.

I stopped. Asked if he was OK. ‘Do you have some change for a cup of tea?’. Like so many now I had no cash on me, only cards. I offered to go to a nearby shop and get him a cup and some food if he wanted to. I still felt I knew him but couldn’t place him.

I returned with a cup of tea and a sandwich and sat on my hunkers beside him. He started speaking as if he had to explain and justify his situation. What followed was a story of deep trauma, followed by a stop-start recovery, addiction issues, finding and losing jobs, and accommodation.

I let him speak uninterrupted. He stopped regularly to drink from the cup of hot tea and take a bite from the tuna and sweetcorn sandwich. When he was finished, I asked him if he wanted dessert. He declined. I didn’t insist. I asked was there anything else I could do for him. Once again, he declined. Then he thanked me about 10 times. Not just for the food and drink. But for listening. ‘You’re the first person who let me talk and didn’t tell me what to do.’

I still feel I met him before. I still don’t know where from. Nor do I know who he is. And I haven’t seen him since.

There are 2 reasons I share this story.

One is that I feel privileged that coaching has taught me listening skills. There was no need for me to talk or offer advice. Just being there, listening, and taking some small action was enough right at that moment.

Which people in your life can you think of right now that could benefit from you being present, listening, and taking some small actions.

Two is the realisation that the reason I think I recognised that person is that this could have so easily have been me sitting there, on a wet afternoon, on a piece of cardboard, begging for change.

I had traumas in my life I couldn’t cope with at the time. I had flirtations with addiction, escapism, and depression. I also had a few people that cared enough to listen and encourage me. And enough resilience to overcome with the help of those others.

This is yet another reason why I became a professional coach. I understand the powers of listening, reframing, and encouraging actions. Regardless of where you are in life or what you do.

It is the WHY behind everything I do. Helping people, regardless of their position, to R.A.I.S.E. their profile. That is to become Resilient, Adaptable, Imaginative, Sustainable, and Effective.

Let’s connect. I am good at listening and would love to hear your story.

patrick@theintentionalacademy.ie

WhatsApp 00 353 83 3008963

How It All Started – Part Deux! (of 3)

I was ready to become a Coach. Just finish the course, get the accredited Diploma, and off you go setting up your own practice. Simple.

Two months later.

I will never be good enough to do this. I will probably not even get the Diploma. Why am I doing this?

Also.

I am critical of everything I have done with my life. I question my beliefs and my thinking patterns. I am restless and unsure about the future.

This was no longer just a course or a career path, this was my first real foray into personal development. And there were so many layers from past experiences clouding me, that I could not hear or find the answers to the 100’s of questions I asked myself.

I was afraid, anxious, worried, and felt down. All the while still working in a full-time job as a retail manager of a store that was open 364 days a year.

I handed in my notice to fully concentrate on becoming a Coach. I promised them to stay until after Christmas.

A new anxiety rose its loud, obnoxious head. I will have no income from January. The course was finishing end of May. What will I do?

The Irish Lifecoach Institute (ILI) is a top-of-the-range training provider. They knew this was not just happening to me. Lots of students in our course and the years previous had gone through this. They also know, as every properly trained coach does, that we all have the answers to any of our questions, fears, and anxieties within us. With that in mind, they provide platforms within the course to create a space for exploring this.

We were introduced to PCGs (Peer Coaching Groups), where as students we met in groups outside the course, as well as in the course facilitated by a tutor. Then we started coaching each other to get used to the techniques and also to assist the development of one another.

We journaled. We read books from a list on the curriculum that allowed us to learn and explore at the same time. We grew together. I felt privileged to be part of the ILI.

Some of the anxieties and fears dissipated. Some remained. Yet I felt I was discovering a new lifestyle. One that would not lead me to burnout and severe stress attacks like my previous jobs had.

Filled with renewed hope and energy, I relaunched myself into the course, trying to make the best of it one day at a time.

(To Be Continued)

How it all started – Part 1!

Standing behind the counter of the retail unit I managed, I had just served another happy customer.

I particularly liked interacting with the customers and the staff and was pretty good at sales too. I loved the products, and the location was central to the city I lived in.

What I didn’t like was the obsessive focus on all kinds of KPIs and the lack of people management from HQ. Every time we beat a target, the next target would be higher. And the odd time we didn’t reach the target, the Spanish Inquisition would start to find the reason. Well, I say the reason, I meant the culprit(s). Blame had to be apportioned.

Suddenly, I got blurred vision. Black dots in front of my eyes. I also got stabbed in the chest. Repeatedly. At least, that’s what it felt like. I felt dizzy.

I excused myself to the staff member on duty and walked out. I don’t know why, but I did and started walking. I ended up walking the short 7 minutes it takes to get to my GP’s office. The room was cleared and I was taken in immediately.

30 minutes later I was diagnosed with a severe stress attack and was ordered to stay at home for a week. To ensure I complied I was asked for the phone number of HQ. They were informed of the GP’s decision.

The day after I got the call from the head of training of the company. He was checking in with me. I told him what happened and opened up about the likes and dislikes I had in my job as a Store Manager.

He listened and asked several excellent questions that made me feel understood and listened to. As I had worked in Corporate Management before, I asked where he learned those skills. He said he got them from having studied Coaching. I had no idea what he meant. This was early 2006 and I had only heard of coaching in a sports context. He said he would send me a book if that was OK with me.

At the end of my enforced week off, I had finished it. ‘The Seven Habits OF Highly Effective People’ by Stephen Covey.

Some things in it made sense to me, some of them I dismissed mockingly, and some I felt curious about. So I Googled Coaching. I did some research and started asking questions of my ex-colleagues in the corporate world. I was directed to the Irish Lifecoach Institute.

I applied to do their full Diploma course in Personal & Business Coaching. I got interviewed and accepted. 1 Full Academic Year. It promised to be busy with weekend classes, book assignments, dissertations, journaling, peer-to-peer coaching, Peer Coaching Groups, pro bono clients, assessments, etc…

The course started in October 2006 on a wet Saturday in the beautiful 4* Castletroy Park Hotel just outside Limerick City. By 5 pm that day. I knew. This was so for me. I felt it everywhere. I cried when I got home. I was ready to become a Coach.

(To be Continued)

To find out more about my coaching programs email patrick@theintentionalacademy.ie or WhatsApp 083-3008963

Steps to powerful intentions that work!

Setting clear intentions is one of the most powerful things you can do. Even more so when what you do on daily basis is designed to move you in the direction of those intentions.

I intend to cut the grass today.

I intend to spend more time off-screen this week.

I intend to eat more fruit this month.

We have all done it. Written or spoken intentions like those above. And then we ‘forget’ to cut the grass. And we were sent a brilliant podcast and were recommended a new series on Netflix. And fruit just got so expensive.

So what are powerful intentions then, I hear you ask?

Powerful intentions are set while in a state of awareness; based on your likes, values, strengths, and passions.

Powerful intentions are detached from strict outcomes, lack, or needs.

Powerful intentions are short and clear.

Let me share one of mine from my ‘Lifestyle’ category:

‘I travel joyfully, eat good food, enjoy the finer things in life, and spend time outdoors daily.’

This is clear, detached from strict outcomes, and easy to implement daily. It is also based on my love for travel, my love for food, and the fact I’m an outdoors person.

I did write ‘Lifestyle’ category. It is 1 of 8 categories I set intentions for. They are Business, Finance, Lifestyle, Social & Hobbies, Personal Development, Family & Relationships, Spirituality, and Fitness.

These categories are not rigid. Some clients have changed Fitness to Health. Or Business to Career.

Setting clear intentions is one of the most powerful things you can do. What are yours?

To find out more about setting intentions for yourself WhatsApp Patrick on 083-3008963 or email patrick@theintentionalacademy.ie